Tuesday, January 25, 2011

[~a heart's desire]

The Packers are going to the Super Bowl!! -dances-
This is so exciting; unbelievably so.

January 2011 is nearly over already. I sit here in my dorm, staring out the window at the snow that blankets the courtyard and I can be happy. To be perfectly honest, I hate being at school. Perhaps hate is a strong word, but it is a fact. I enjoy my classes and I love going to chapel and I love my friends, but for some reason just simply being here causes me to feel depressed.

So why can I just be happy? Well, because.
Because I am almost done. I can see graduation from here, and the road to that exit doesn't look so long anymore. But what am I going to do after that? There are many things I would like to do, but I think God has priorities for me at the moment. I won't muse about those in this particular post, but I do know that my life is going through more changes than graduating from college.

Of course, now that I am going to graduate from Concordia, I've begun to look back at some of the things that I missed. I wanted, so badly, to study abroad. I wanted to study in England, at Oxford specifically. I guess that wasn't a path God allowed me to follow. I'm having a difficult time accepting this, as a few people know. Studying at Oxford, even for a short while, had been my heart's desire for many years; it was a dream I've had since I was a child. But the thing about a person's heart's desire is this:

It can change, shift, the way the winds shift and change.

My heart's desire did shift, without my consent nor my expectation; but now I wouldn't change it for anything. Now what I want most in the world is to get married and begin a new journey with a certain special someone. I am afraid to even talk about it, for fear of jinxing something so special. Yet I know without a doubt that this is the path (or part of it) that God has laid out for me.

Now, I am going to share a few Bible verses that are not particularly relevant to this topic, exactly; but they are what I read this morning.

"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth,
where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,
but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
~Matthew 6:19-21

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