Wednesday, June 29, 2011


It may be the summer weather, but I am restless. Ever since school ended, I have been feeling this way. But why? Come to think of it, the feeling cannot be solely because of the summer weather; summer weather has been greatly lacking. I enjoy the cooler temps, so that certainly isn't it. I have this feeling of urgency, of somehow missing something that is to come. I never sleep well, and even when I think I do, I'm still exhausted. There are so many things that I want to accomplish, and yet they never get accomplished because I spend all my time thinking and never doing.

I suppose I have accomplished a few things this summer. I have managed to read a number of books simply for the joy of reading. I have bought the fabric and other supplies to sew my wedding dress. And there are other, smaller, things. But the feeling of restlessness remains. I don't like it, and it's upsetting me.

The sad thing is that part of me knows why I am restless. I don't want to be here. A lot of what I would like to accomplish requires being there, in Wisconsin. I am tired of Illinois, tired of the distance, and tired of the scenery, since I'm being honest. It's not that I don't want to be with my family, or my church family, or my very few friends here.

The time has come for a permanent change of scenery. I just wish December didn't feel so far away.

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